Dear Pope Francis

Dear Pope Francis,

I feel compelled to write at this time to warn you of the greatest threat facing Catholics today and urge you to take immediate action. The threat of which I refer is not due to the “tyranny of relativism” that your predecessor, Pope Benedict XVI warned of, nor does it come from violent fundamentalist Islamists. Rather, it is an insidious infiltration of the church that is causing the dire threat. This ever-growing menace has increasingly gained ground in the Catholic Church over

perhaps the past 25 years or so. In truth, the church has always had to deal with the problem, but with the world-wide dissemination of the Eternal Word Television Network (EWTN) this danger is threatening the church like never before. The threat that I am referring to is none other than the phenomenon known as “Catholic Converts”, and unless this movement is stopped dead in its tracks it will continue to fester and corrupt people of all different nationalities, races, and even other religions: not to mention atheists. In short, Holy Father, I implore you – no, I beg you - to excommunicate all converts. Time is of the essence.

Unfortunately the insidious activities of these converts within the church can no longer be ignored, and their enthusiasm for all-things Catholic is deeply wounding those of us raised in the faith. Put simply, Holy Father, converts are making us look bad: really bad. We want to go back to the days where it was enough just to be culturally Catholic: to the days in which we only attended Mass on Sunday…if we felt like it…and lived like pagans the rest of the week. In good consciences, I mean. Regrettably, gung-ho converts are disturbing our consciences. Things were pretty good for the next two or three decades after Vatican II - when the church stopped

being so rigid - but in recent times things have started to change again. Vatican II was certainly great timing with the sexual revolution and all that, and the way it was implemented (if not actually intended) was a breath of fresh air. After all, nuns finally got liberated by no longer having to live in community and were able to step out of those stuffy habits and into polyester suits - and other apparel. Sure, the over-the-ears men’s haircuts many of them adopted left something to be desired but at least they embraced their femininity…or maybe it was feminism. And how about those good and holy priests? Fortunately, many seminaries were taken over by progressive clergy who relaxed their admission standards in order to be more welcoming and inclusive. The result? A whole wave of young and enthusiastic men on fire for…alter boys.

Okay, the deliberate misinterpretation and skewing of Vatican II didn’t work out as well as it could have among some of our clergy, but the Catholic formation of our youth was second to none! For example, as a high school student one of my most prominent memories in church was viewing The Night of The Living Dead. Despite the fact that I could not sleep well for a few weeks after seeing it, the philosophical and theological depth of the movie was simply profound…or at least that’s my guess as to why we watched a horror movie in St. Rita’s. Maybe I’ll just have to see it again to really appreciate it.

Scott Hahn and Pope Benedict XVI

So, anyway, this is the church we born-and-bred Catholics were raised in, and the few decades after Vatican II will undoubtedly be viewed by posterity as a high mark in church history. Of course, the influence of the subversive elements – converts – have waxed and waned over the past two millennia, but the “spirit” of Vatican II seemed to keep them in check for many years. Unfortunately, Mother Angelica’s increasingly far-reaching arm with EWTN - in addition to like-minded cronies (many of them converts) - in actually educating the faithful in how to be faithful and recruiting others out of the fold, has resulted in a marked destabilizing of our comfort zone. It’s been dreadful. Educated, articulate, and influential former evangelical pastors like Dr. Scott Hahn are an open wound to us. Since his defection, Hahn has subverted many others. EWTN has not only helped give him a voice, but also other former pastor’s like Marcus Grodi, whose show “The Journey Home” openly celebrates newcomers from all walks of life into the Catholic Church: protestants, Jews, returning Catholics, atheists, etc. It’s simply shameful. Yet another ex-pastor, Al Kresta, might be one of the worst. His radio show is notorious for scrutinizing the historical record, setting it straight, and calling out anti-Catholic bias wherever he sees it. If this keeps up the broader public might learn

Fr. R.J. Neuhaus and Ronald Reagan

the truth about the Galileo affair, for example, and just where would we be then if secularists could no longer use it as the poster-child for supposed Catholic hostility to science during the Middle Ages? The next thing you know the public will start questioning the accuracy of secular accounts of the crusades. Then there is the deceased Anglican convert Fr. Richard John Neuhaus and “America’s most influential journal of religion and public life” that he began, FIRST THINGS. Nobody should be subjected to such an "intellectually formidable monthly magazine" as one writer recently put it.  

That brings us to Bible-thumper types like former Assembly of God member Tim Staples, who had the nerve to come to our side and continue thumping the Bible for us. What arrogance! This is quite unbecoming behavior for Catholics: the last thing we want is to actually start becoming associated with reading the Bible and getting confused with Protestants. That’s their gig, not ours. They’re good at it, we aren’t. We don’t want to tread on their turf and it’s better if we continue to let everyone think that Catholic clergy used to ban the common man from

reading the Bible in the Middle Ages. Confrontations are best avoided this way; for we don’t want Catholics to get too cocky and fast and loose with scripture and bring up uncomfortable passages that show that Catholicism is, in fact, entirely based on and deep in scripture. Besides, when our Christian brethren are on a roll with their eyes ablaze, intently sermonizing, and tapping the Good Book and saying “the Bible alone” is all they need, it would simply be bad manners to point out that the only book they need was compiled by church fathers who were completely in union with Catholic teaching – then and now. It is clear that the Protestant focus on the Bible and Christ without all the baggage 2000 years of Catholicism brings with it has been advantageous for them as they are often fired up for their faith…unlike us. As a matter of fact, in places like Latin and South America they are increasingly enticing Catholics out of their churches and into Protestant ones. With all due respect, Holy Father, bully for them, I say. It is simply too hard to follow Catholic teachings. Besides, they sing a lot better than we do. That’s got to mean something.

For these reasons those who convert to Catholicism must go…at least start with the high profile ones. Do you truly realize how much damage former Protestants, especially pastors, really do to the psyche of we-who-are-natural-born in the faith? They challenge us! It's demeaning and insulting. We don’t want to be challenged just because they love the Bible and are deep in history. Among other despicable things, they parade around talking about “the prophetic witness” of Pope Paul VI when he so-clearly and accurately saw the devastating societal consequences of our contraceptive culture; and they are at the forefront of the prolife movement. It’s all so terribly embarrassing. After all, those of us raised in the shadow of the church just want to get along. That’s all. We want fornication. We want contraception. And we want to look the other way with abortion. We most certainly do not want to pick up our crosses and

follow Christ to Golgotha. The Catholic Church is truly the countercultural movement in the world today and we want nothing to do with it. For acting on our faith has consequences, and we merely insist on being part of the general culture. We don’t want to speak out. We don’t want to rock the boat. And we certainly don’t want martyrdom.

 Martyrdom is for saints. We’re sinners. And we are going to keep on thinking we’re going to go straight to heaven no matter what we believe or do.

In conclusion, Holy Father, we - your children raised under the crucifix – long for the old days of complacency. Please remove the thorn in our side called “converts” so that we can once again, in good conscience, fully embrace our apathy.

Thank you, Your Holiness.